What goes up and never comes down?
Your age !
What do you always get on your birthday?
Another year older !
Why do we put candles on top of a cake?
It’s too hard to put them on the bottom !
How did the chickens dance at the party ?
Chick to chick !
Did you hear about Dracula’s Christmas party ?
It was a scream !
Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Birthday Party ?
He had no body to go with !
What did the peanut say to the elephant?
Nothing. Peanuts can’t talk.
What do you do with a blue monster?
Try and cheer him up.
What is big, hairy and bounces up and down?
A monster on a pogo stick.
Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space ?
Because there is no atmosphere !
What does a footballer and a magician have in common ?
Both do hat tricks !
Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar ?
All of them, a crossbar can’t jump !
Why couldn’t the butterfly go to the ball ?
It was a moth ball !
Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer?
Because you said it was pound cake!
Why couldn’t prehistoric man send birthday cards?
The stamps kept falling off the rocks!
Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
In a cat-alogue!
What’s a dogs favourite party food?
What is a baby’s motto?
If at first you don’t succeed cry, cry again !
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
What is the longest word in the dictionary?
The word smiles – because there is a mile between each s.
What was the average age of a cave man?
Stone Age !
Abby Birthday to you!
What do you say to a cow on her birthday?
Happy Birthday to Moo!
What do you say to a cat on her birthday?
Happy birthday to mew!
What do you give a 900 pound gorilla for his birthday?
I don’t know, but you’d better hope he likes it!