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Kids jokes

Posted on Apr 8, 2016 by in Fun and games | 0 comments

What goes up and never comes down?

Your age !

What do you always get on your birthday?

Another year older !

Why do we put candles on top of a cake?

It’s too hard to put them on the bottom !

How did the chickens dance at the party ?

Chick to chick !

Did you hear about Dracula’s Christmas party ?

It was a scream !

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Birthday Party ?

He had no body to go with !

What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing. Peanuts can’t talk.

What do you do with a blue monster?

Try and cheer him up.

What is big, hairy and bounces up and down?

A monster on a pogo stick.

Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space ?

Because there is no atmosphere !

What does a footballer and a magician have in common ?

Both do hat tricks !

Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar ?

All of them, a crossbar can’t jump !

Why couldn’t the butterfly go to the ball ?

It was a moth ball !

Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer?

Because you said it was pound cake!

Why couldn’t prehistoric man send birthday cards?

The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?

In a cat-alogue!

What’s a dogs favourite party food?


What is a baby’s motto?

If at first you don’t succeed cry, cry again !

Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in schools.

What is the longest word in the dictionary?

The word smiles – because there is a mile between each s.

What was the average age of a cave man?

Stone Age !


Who’s there?
Abby who?
Abby Birthday to you!

What do you say to a cow on her birthday?

Happy Birthday to Moo!

What do you say to a cat on her birthday?

Happy birthday to mew!

What do you give a 900 pound gorilla for his birthday?

I don’t know, but you’d better hope he likes it!


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